Madoff and our credibility

Dear Erica,

Help me. Bernie Madoff is ruining my life, and I don’t even know the man! Seriously, as if the economic situation isn’t bad enough, I feel that Jews are under attack, and there’s this quiet suspicion of any Jew who works in my office in downtown DC. The fact that I’m in investment banking for a living makes this even harder. I am in a leadership position professionally. Any advice?

Suffering Susan

Dear Suffering,

We may believe that Madoff stole nothing from us if we did not invest. But he did take something from every one of us: credibility. Trust is a hard thing to earn, and it’s going to be a very hard thing to bring back once it’s gone. It’s never fair when we mistake the behavior of one person for everyone in that minority group. Yet, it’s a reality. Let’s face it, every minority struggles with the same challenge, and it’s stamped all over Jewish history. So it’s best not to ignore it. It can be the elephant in the room, and my advice is to confront it head on. The New Yorker recently ran a cartoon of an elephant in a psychiatrist’s chair who says something like, “People always ignore me when I come into the room.” You are your own best advocate and your ability to criticize the behavior of people who do wrong of whatever stripe, sustains your credibility…There is another side to this dilemma. Jews have been majorly impacted by affluence; we have become an overly materialistic people who have to watch our own spending and the influence of money in our own lives. Few of us had that much money to lose but we all can work on minimizing the importance of money in our lives. From a leadership perspective, this may be a great time to strengthen acts of kindness and public displays of charity and good will. When faced with suspicion, win them over with love.