Jewish Leadership Institute Blog

100 Days in Office

2009-05-01T09:23:00.000-07:00

Dear Erica,

Today marks President Obama’s first 100 days in office. Do you think that 100 days is a measure of anything significant? Do we have any such concept within the Jewish world?

On the Hill

Dear On the Hill (at least you’re not Over the Hill),

That’s a fascinating question and one that deserves an introspective answer. This demarcation emerged during FDR’s presidency at a time when the pundits and the public first felt entitled to weigh in on whether or not the president was moving in the direction of his party and his goals. But is a 100 days enough time or the right amount of time to gauge a person’s leadership? Obama himself said in a Times interview in January that this mark of time is artificial:"The first hundred days is going to be important, but it’s probably going to be the first thousand days that makes the difference." On the one hand, it would be easy to say that’s just creating protective cover. You can tell in the first months a lot about the way that a leader communicates, his or her level of transparency and the way in which they use advisors and outside resources of wisdom and advice. But what you can’t tell is the long-term impact of new laws or how complex change is or how much history is wrapped in any decision that generates obstacles to future changes. There is no concept of a hundred days within Jewish tradition. Arguably, we take the long view on everything. After all, what’s a hundred years in the Jewish calendar? Small change. And that brings me to my last point. President Obama’s first hundred days coincides with Israel’s 61st Independence Day. We may be fewer than a hundred years old from a statehood perspective but we’re thousands of years old as a central project of the Jewish people. Now that’s a lot of time, and the country’s accomplishments required and require a lot of leadership. But that’s for another conversation.

Wrong Person for the Job

2009-04-23T08:43:00.000-07:00

Dear Erica,

We are getting to that time of year when we being to think about the leadership of our organizations for next year. Everyone is in the nominating mode in my social service agency and I’m feeling a little stuck. The person they have nominated for vice president (who will one day be president) is, in my mind, totally the wrong person for the job. I am even thinking of leaving the board if he is picked. They are just about to ask him. What recourse do I have?

Losing Patience in Potomac

Dear Patience (or Impatience),

People get nominated for board positions for all kinds of reasons. Sometimes we nominate people because they have talent, institutional memory, commitment or guts. Sometimes we nominate people who have the financial capacity to make a difference in an organization. All of these are valid reasons. I can totally appreciate your concern, and I think it’s important to act fast if you can’t understand why this person has been chosen. I would begin with speaking in confidence (and hopefully in person) to your board president and to a professional. Don’t only talk. Listen. You may not know the person in question as well as they do. Inquire. Find out what they were thinking so you don’t have to ask, “What were they thinking?”

If your issues still hold, then share them in a friendly and constructive way and talk about how these considerations can be addressed. If you really do not feel comfortable then it is your right to opt off the board. You may, however, be a nice guy and give this person a chance to shine or stumble before making up your mind. We humans can be a little too quick to form first impressions that we can’t or aren’t mentally willing to shake. But remember this important piece of advice: if you stay, your job on a board is to be supportive, not divisive. Don’t be the one to tell others that you didn’t agree to his nomination. You can share that now before an election but once a decision is formed, you need to be part of a cohesive team to the public you serve. Partisanship can profoundly hurt institutions that we care about and love.

Moses

2009-04-02T15:12:00.000-07:00

Dear Erica,

I recently heard that only 20% of the Jews left Egypt. What kind of leader was Moses if he couldn’t convince the majority of slaves to leave when they had the chance.

Sincerely,

Still in Goshen

Dear Goshen,

It’s true that according to the rabbis of the Talmud, 80% of people who were given the chance to leave Egypt didn’t. It certainly begs the question of what leaders have to do to persuade people to follow. In fact, some commentators believe that the plagues in Egypt were as much for the Israelites as they were for the Egyptians. Jews themselves needed “proof” that redemption was on the way. Without that, they weren’t willing to take the risk of leaving. Leaders can’t be blamed for the poor decisions that followers make when they decide to opt out. We have to take accountability for our own actions, especially when we fail to see opportunity knocking loudly.

Helicopter Parents in the Classroom

2009-03-25T13:26:00.000-07:00

Dear Erica,

I am at my wit’s end!

I am a teacher and have always seen my job in the classroom as a leader. I have the responsibilities of managing a group of people and bringing them together around ideas, and I also have vision of where I want to take them to, as a class and also as individuals. I take my work very seriously and have been teaching for over fifteen years. In those years, I have seen a lot of changes in education. The biggest for me is how vocal parents are today in questioning teachers’ expertise and knowledge, something I would never have done when my children were young. I believe that we are all partners in the growth of a child but that we each play different and complementary roles.

A number of parents I deal with regularly are rude and aggressive. I wonder where civility is, and I also don’t know how long I can last in this job. I feel like I am being quickly moved from my position as leader to one as a follower, where my competency is questioned too much of the time.

Civil in Silver Spring

Dear Civil,

I feel your pain.

Leaders should always have their competencies questioned. Too much blind acceptance can lead us down a miserable leadership path. But there’s another issue at heart here. It has to do with language, boundaries and respect. Civility is foundational in communities of caring and learning. Without basic respect that is expressed in the use of civil language, the classroom ceases to be a safe place. While classrooms must be safe spaces for children (and their parents), they also have to be safe spaces for teachers. When we fail to make them places where relationships are primary, then we can’t wonder why talented people leave the field. We’re reading about this more and more in the papers. Helicopter parents need to fly elsewhere sometimes so that their children can stand up on their own two feet, as we had to. The moment teachers cease to be leaders, they also cease to be teachers in the truest sense.

Persecution complex

2009-03-04T14:12:00.000-08:00

Dear Erica,

Purim is around the corner and Passover not long after. I feel that our holidays keep telling the same story. Someone wants to kill us. We’re the underdog, but we win. And then we have a celebration and eat. As a Jewish communal professional, I am worried that the same story creates a persecution complex, and as leaders we pay the price for it. People just don’t want to join. Help.

Unmasked at the ball in Bethesda

Dear Unmasked,

You can take off your mask, and just be yourself. I couldn’t agree with you more. Our history is full of triumphs and not only hardships. We wouldn’t be here if that were not the case. It’s about time that we as a people emphasize our success and tell an alternate story to the life from the ashes narrative. We should be proud of our survival; at the same time, we run a great and often misunderstood risk when we play the sad, guilty or persecuted card again and again. It’s not a reason to join. Sometimes, it’s a reason people run in the opposite direction. What they say in fund-raising is just as true in life: “People are drawn to success, not distress.” Fortunately, we have a wonderful story of success to share. As leaders, it’s more than a good idea. It’s a responsibility.

Fear of Fundraising

2009-03-04T14:07:00.000-08:00

Dear Erica,

I would rather do anything than ask people for money. I find that it’s the hardest part of my board commitment; I even said to the nominating committee, “I’ll do anything for this board but I’m not raising money.” At the time, they let it pass but now it's our fund-raising season and they expect all board members to do their share. I really feel uncomfortable asking friends because then it’s all awkward and if people don’t know you they don’t give you the time of day. Should I just stick my hand in the sand, and this too shall pass?

The Ostrich of Olney

Dear Ostrich,

You may try to stick your head in the sand but it won’t work. Eventually you’ll get found out. Most people hate asking for money because they fear rejection. This may take them back to earlier days, like standing against the wall of the high school gym waiting for someone to ask you to dance. Fundraising isn’t like that. It only seems scary. And so what if people say no. You move on because every once in a while someone says yes and you feel that you have created a transaction of meaning. You helped someone give tzedaka, a higher Jewish value than giving yourself. There are many seminars and books that you can read about fund-raising that ease the process. I always bear in mind John D. Rockefeller’s simple words: “Never think you need to apologize for asking someone to give to a worthy cause.” But there’s something else to bear in mind as well. We have to make sure that our institution’s touch-point with everyone is not primarily about money but about meaning and value. What have we done for them lately that makes them want to give to us? Tell a personal story about how you’ve been inspired by your institution and the rest is a piece of cake.

Go out and fail

2009-02-25T08:39:00.000-08:00

On Feb 9 I had the thrilling pleasure of seeing my second child graduate from CES-JDS. Of course, I paid most attention to those parts of graduation, and those speeches, that focused on how wonderful my child is, so it was surprising to find myself also enjoying a speech relevant to our JLI program. Richard H. Smith, a member of the Charles E. Smith family that has done so much for the Washington Jewish Community (and who continues as a supporter of JDS, Hebrew University, as well as University of Maryland, the National Gallery of Art and many other causes) gave what I thought was an excellent charge to the graduating class.

Smith's charge to the graduates was to go out and fail. Or, more precisely, to not fear failure. He emphasized that if you never fail it means you did not push yourself to test the maximum of your abilities, and so you in the end have achieved less than your potential. You have missed the lessons learned from a failure. Smith's deepest insight was that a major reason for our current economic mess was that so many in the business/finance world (and perhaps government, though I am not sure if he explicitly mentioned it) were unwilling to admit failure, and so chose to deceive and manipulate instead.

I think Smith gave the class, and us, a valuable message. We are a people that honor success, but we must recognize the value of failure and, most important, never sacrifice our values and integrity to escape one.

Richard

Gossip

2009-02-06T13:17:00.000-08:00

Dear Erica,

I have been working on a board for a year and a half now and there is someone on my board who is a big gossip. He’s always taking people aside in whispers and saying things about members of our community; I often feel that he’s talking about me although I don’t know him well. My concern is that we have some very difficult decisions to make in the next few months about some firings in our synagogue, and I’m worried that he can’t keep his mouth shut. What do you think?

-Sensitive in Silver Spring

Dear Sensitive,

Uh-oh. Bad news. The mouth is that gift that keeps giving. May I suggest that you take this indelicate situation to your president. This is a stealth mission. Quickly and quietly this board member needs to know that a board member is a trustee – a trusted holder of information that cannot go beyond the board room. Failure to comply with this most basic requirement of board service results in a lovely good-bye party for gossips. It may not feel comfortable to put out a fire but think of all the fires that will start if you don’t say or do anything. Courage is the ability to say and do what needs to be said and done even if doesn’t feel good. That’s a core value of integrity and the world of leadership needs more of it. May the force be with you – or, in the language of the biblical Joshua, “Be strong and of good courage.”

Madoff and our credibility

2009-02-02T14:40:00.000-08:00

Dear Erica,

Help me. Bernie Madoff is ruining my life, and I don’t even know the man! Seriously, as if the economic situation isn’t bad enough, I feel that Jews are under attack, and there’s this quiet suspicion of any Jew who works in my office in downtown DC. The fact that I’m in investment banking for a living makes this even harder. I am in a leadership position professionally. Any advice?

Suffering Susan

Dear Suffering,

We may believe that Madoff stole nothing from us if we did not invest. But he did take something from every one of us: credibility. Trust is a hard thing to earn, and it’s going to be a very hard thing to bring back once it’s gone. It’s never fair when we mistake the behavior of one person for everyone in that minority group. Yet, it’s a reality. Let’s face it, every minority struggles with the same challenge, and it’s stamped all over Jewish history. So it’s best not to ignore it. It can be the elephant in the room, and my advice is to confront it head on. The New Yorker recently ran a cartoon of an elephant in a psychiatrist’s chair who says something like, “People always ignore me when I come into the room.” You are your own best advocate and your ability to criticize the behavior of people who do wrong of whatever stripe, sustains your credibility…There is another side to this dilemma. Jews have been majorly impacted by affluence; we have become an overly materialistic people who have to watch our own spending and the influence of money in our own lives. Few of us had that much money to lose but we all can work on minimizing the importance of money in our lives. From a leadership perspective, this may be a great time to strengthen acts of kindness and public displays of charity and good will. When faced with suspicion, win them over with love.

2009-01-16T11:45:00.000-08:00

Dear JLI -

In our JLI class, we talked a lot about leadership and our roles as leaders. A friend of mine told me about this situation she recently encountered and didn't know how to handle it.

She works for an organization that deals with helping citizens in 3rd world countries get a leg up. Her role specifically is to take the donors to the organization to visit the sites where their funds are going. On one such trip, the group was visiting an NGO that supports and empowers sex-workers by giving them skills in English language, computer training and other education on safe sex and labor rights. Of course, this is a difficult situation for us as Americans to deal with because of our clear sense of moral certitude.

Upon bringing the group of donors to meet these sex-workers, one of the donors on the trip was extremely vocal and judgemental about the NGO's work and their approach. The donor felt that the NGO should have been working to rehabilitate sex workers and that the efforts to make their jobs safe were misguided and morally wrong. The donor made her opinions very public to the entire group. She and others began to take pictures and disrespect an earlier request to be patient and sensitive with these women and specifically not take photographs.

The situation was particularly challenging because of the dynamic between my friend's aid organization and the community, and between her as a staff member and the donors. The problematic donor had given a substantial gift to the organization, and she feard insulting her, but at the same time feared creating a strained relationship between her organizaation and the people they are committed to helping.

What should she have done in the situation?

Getting a leader to follow-through

2009-01-14T13:45:00.000-08:00

Dear Erica,

I’m working with a vice-president on our board who has lots of great ideas but never follows through. We have an important event coming up and I can’t even get him to schedule a meeting. How do I motivate him to do what needs to get done?

Puzzled in Potomac

Dear Puzzled,

Oh no. Sounds like you need Who Moved My Babka?, a popular leadership book for Jewish boards! I share your frustration and have heard this concern voiced many times, especially as people get busier and the volunteer base is shrinking. And our inability to follow-through on projects is as old as the hills. Saadia Gaon, a tenth century Jewish philosopher, describes a mentally lazy person as one “who fails to pursue an idea to its conclusion.” He says that people don’t realize that if they act this way with things they want to achieve, they’d never get them. The key here is how much people really want to make an idea happen or if they want the idea to happen but someone else to do it. Generating ideas and being a leader are not the same thing. Here are a few practical questions for you to answer because you can’t control someone else’s behavior, but you can control your own:

· Have you communicated directly and clearly what has to be done?
· Have you followed up with him about responsibilities and deadlines?
· Have you thought of consequences that you might share with him should the tasks not get done?
· Have you given him honest and helpful feedback about what is not working?
· Have you given him enough support and good feeling about how important the work is that he is doing and how great it is to get projects completed?
· Have you spent sufficient time mapping with him how ideas become realities?

If you can answer those questions, you’re halfway there. Don’t be afraid to suggest that maybe there’s a better place within your organization for him. Maybe this is the wrong fit if he is not following through. Maybe he needs some proverbial hand-holding to help him make good on his word. I know you are busy with your job, but you know what they say about teaching a man to fish…